Cashiers with a sense of humor

Yesterday, I went with a friend to go pick up some items from the Dollar General. When she pulled out a stack of dollars out of her purse to pay the cashier she said "I swear I'm not a stripper, these are my tips, I'm a waitress at Chilis" the cashier looked at her and said "Ahh....still they could have been in a stripper's g-string at some point." Bottle of shampoo $3.75, Snacks for kids $5.00, Look on my friend's face at that moment in time? PRICELESS.

The Talk

I have decided that having "the talk" with my pre teen son was a hell of a lot more embarrassing for me then it was for him. I have 3 boys. I have no idea what is going through a male's mind during puberty. Quite frankly, I just don't want to know. Granted, I definitely don't want to be a grandparent anytime soon, nor do I want my child getting any STD's. However, until the other day the extent of my answers to my children's questions about "Where do babies come from?" has always remained the same. "They're a gift from GOD." My ex overheard that explanation once, and went around smiling like a goofy goober for a week. That just made me want to punch him. So, as I'm trying to explain what his body might be going through, the whole time I'm praying that I could zap into an episode of  Star Trek and say "Beam me up Scotty!". Needless to say, I made it through the ordeal. I am scarred for life. I have to do this two more times.

When my mom passed away

I was beside myself with grief. She was sick off and on throughout my whole life, and I always miss her more around holidays. So for Mother's Day this year, in honor of what a wonderful woman she was and what strength she yielded during her life I wanted to share this poem I wrote for her funeral.

Your smile was like a rainbow
Lighting up the sky
Your laughter was contagious
That, no one could deny

You touched so many lives
In your time here with us
Compassion filled your heart
With love, honor, and trust

Your body was wounded
But your soul full of life
You took your last breath
As a daughter, mother, and wife

At first I was afraid
That you might not have known
How much you were loved
And you might feel alone

But then I remembered
You're in a better place
No more tears, no more pain
Safe in God's embrace

One day we'll meet again
You'll lead me to heaven's door
We'll smile, laugh, and dance
Just like we did before